New Bloom 🌺

My alarm today went off at six o’clock. Normally, I delay for about ten minutes before dragging myself to the bathroom. However, today I only delayed for 20 seconds and jumped off my bed headed for the bathroom. Yesterday I quarreled with my boss about reporting to work by 7:30 a.m. Yes, with the damn 7:30 a.m chill and fog from the Aberdare Ranges. My aunt is still asleep so I have to prepare breakfast while I figure out my dress code for the day. 

It’s a cloudy Wednesday July morning. New month. The Ranges are covered with the hill fog and the it’s a little windy. I take out my scarf, maroon trench coat and jungle green boots. I am also in my favorite denim trouser and jungle green canvas coat. It’s my favorite casual wear. I have decided to wear this since it’s my last day of being eighteen. I would have wished to remain this old but time is moving and it’s time to be nineteen. 

Chilly

I am a little bit scared by the fact that I am growing older. My dreams are big and my responsibilities are increasing. I have a lot to accomplish in a short time. I have to study, create a blog, start projects …the list is endless. I have a responsibility in my family and my social life and impact too. I also have a job and a boss to answer to. I feel as if the burden is too much but my past experience is motivating me to keep on moving.

For the first time in my life, I have felt the urge to plan myself. I feel overwhelmed by events and I am starting to get nervous. Birthdays should be a time to merry and be happy to be an year older, but I am very worried. Time is catching up with me. With the pandemic, things are even tougher. I miss my family and wish that I could be with them. I have to be strong. I have been stronger before. 

The thought of all the things I am yet to accomplish is haunting me in my sleep. The other day my aunt told that I had been sleep talking for about fifteen minutes. She didn’t make out what I was talking about, but she could tell that I am struggling with something and I am very determined to do away with it. I thought I was missing  home so last weekend I went home. I was excited to be with my family again and sad to leave them for work. Last night I had a nightmare and a migraine the whole night. I tried painkillers and they worked. However, I still feel very nervous. I am anxious about an unknown future.

Am I afraid of getting older? It could be, but everyone gets older every other day. Is it my expectations and plans? Well, I should be able to handle that.

With the new year coming, I have set my resolutions. I have resolved to put in more positive energy and  take more risks. I want to take more water and more books. I also want to draw. I want to craft my mind and my soul. I want to make myself a beautiful piece of art and skill. I am going to my last year of teenagehood and that means a lot. I want to explore and find more opportunities. I want more roles. I want. Actually I need. So replace all the “want” above with “need”. 

 My favorite moment in my day is normally in the morning. The morning shower. The soothing water flowing down my soapy skin relieving me of the long night thoughts, dreams and nightmares. It washes away the painful tears I cried both asleep and awake. The bathroom walls listen to all my morning mourn and day’s goals. They see all my pitiful tears and groans. They see my silly laughs and anger and wrath. My towel drains off the remaining dirt from the dreadful night experience and promises me a bright and stunning day. That’s why I take ten minutes in the bathroom while my aunt wants me to take five instead. 

Last year a time like this, I was in an office. Now I am in a store. I was seated on a comfortable office chair, now I am kneeling on the ground. I was behind a bullet proof glass interface, now I am in contact with glaring acetylene flames and rusting metal chips. I was in a clean ironed suit, now I am in a dirty old overall. I was handling people and money, now I’m handling money, metals and vehicles. I was very naive, now I’m fearless, because my mum told me to fear nothing. You see, risks, change.

 I only have some few hours to be 18. Bye bye the eighteen years old. I will miss all the memories of being 18. I am grateful for all the opportunities that 18 brought along. I am thankful for all the new people I met at 18. I am glad for the friendships made and friendships broken. For the ties made and the ties broken. I am happy for the growth I went through. I appreciate the disappointments and the fulfillments. 

I am glad to welcome 19. I pray that I accomplish all my goals and objectives. I hope to grow and expand my opportunities. I look forward to explore new activities and networks. I am hopeful that I will glow and stand out. My special wish on my last day of being eighteen is to move the mountains ahead of me and to obtain favor in God. I pray that I will help more people and that my opportunities will increase. I want to be a blessing to everyone who encounters me at any point in their life. Above all, I pray that I will achieve self satisfaction and fulfillment. So help me God.

Good Bye 18.

Good morning 19 🌺🎊.

Yours,

Self.

Published by Wangui Rosemary Nyambura

Deep silence, flowing words and roaring art

4 thoughts on “New Bloom 🌺

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create your website with WordPress.com
Get started
%d bloggers like this: